im an artist at heart, can write everything, stories, poems, specialize in lyrics tho. i create instrumentals, had a 99% (in art class) on the only painting i've ever done, luved 2 draw (high 90's), and even though i wasn't there half the time (literally).. was the head of my art class. when it comes to poetry.. robert munsch got some of my poetry published for me when i was in grade 2, and i'd ace nething i had to write for school.
However.. music is my real passion. Music is life.. and life is music... so live it loud!!!;P ive wrote lyrics since i was 11 years old. It has always been my main vent.. and always will be. i know im decent and could have most likely done something with them (lord knows i've had plenty of oppurtunities).. but what can i say?? thats how i vent... and the lyrics i'd been writing were nothing to smile about. I don't like to bring people down.. and i never felt like anyone would really understand.
Well.. I'm just recenly finding out that I have avoidant personality disorder( yay for me;P!!) ... and this is why i've never really shared my work. I'd developped this 19 years ago, and have used art to not only cope with it, but to also try to "fix" the way i'd been feeling (which unfortunaly doesnt happen). Seriously.. i read my lyrics from then until now.. and i've always known what was wrong and why i was like this, i just never knew there was a name for it.. or that for every 100 ppl out there, there is 1 who feels the same way:(... and most of them will never be able to figure out why.
I also realized.. i've been doing what i'm supposed to be doing to deal with my AVPD and live the happiest life possible with it. It's just at times.. it was so overwhelming.. and i'd felt so hopeless.. that I'd go astray for months.. sometimes years. I'd fall into a bigg rutt.. and couldn't get out. Not wanting to bring others down with me.. i'd hide... just avoid life... like soooooo many of us do!
Everytime I'd loose sight of my path.. love would guide me back to it.. just follow my heart.. and my "art" would always help to keep me there. So I'd keep soul-searching (as i like 2 call it;P).. trying to find those answers.. which after 19 years and basically dying inside and coming back to life multiple times.. i have finally found:).
So lets just say.. i know one of my big purposes in life... kind've always have.. and that is to shine!! we all shine in our own way.. and we all have a gift. until we learn to use that gift to shine in our own special way.. this world isn't as bright as it should be!
My AVPD has held me back from living my life.. held me back from being me. ever since ive accepted the fact that everthing happens for a reason.. and i am who i am for a reason, i'm realizing that i need to stop hiding from the world.. and start shining for it a lil. Ever since i've stopped being afraid to be me..(with a lot of help from some very special people:) ) ... and started shining a little for others.. the world does seem a little brighter already:)
Sooo.. what 2 expect from me here??? im not really sure yet. i realize pain is art.. and i know pain pretty well.. so maybe some of my works from the past may show up here. All i know.. is you can most likely expect sum rather positive things from me in the future on here:).
Favourite Visual Artist
michelangelo
Favourite Movies
, lion king, lotr, braveheart, nething jet li, american history x, notebook
Favourite TV Shows
dont really do tv;P
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
LMAO... SERIOUSLY??y'all might wanna get a bigger box!! just music period i guess;P!!!
Favourite Books
only read txt books for self teaching purposes. I'm a writer.. not a reader;P
Favourite Writers
me;P.. j/k. amy lee, adele, eminiem(at times), alliyah, 2pac (at times), niel young, enya.. oohhh... u mean books;P
Favourite Games
golf, basketball, texas hold 'em, axis n allies, modern warfare
Other Interests
anything artsy, anything spiritual, anything 2 do with nature